infravermelho

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever, probably cause there's nothing to talk about right now, my life is so boring!

But yeah I'll bore you with my boring life anyway(:

My parents want to take me to Colorado and stuff, but I seriously do not want to go. My cousins are such, how do I put this nicely, they're just really assholey.
I expected to like my cousins, but they're so weird/annoying/sneaky/theif-like.
Whatever though, I'll just have to toughen it out!

Anyway, I have so many vinyl records, I've got like all the artists I truly like, but my vinyl player recenty broke down, I don't blame it, it's like a gajillion years old.
I gotta buy a new one but it's so pricey now!

I've been liking The Cure so much these days, their lyrics, are to die for. I painted some of their song lyrics on my wall, and Death Cab too of course.
I'm so into painting stuff on my wall it's ridiculous, my mom totally hates it, but oh well, what can I do.

So yeah, I've been getting way more artsy than usual. I used to sketch like old buildings or churches, stuff that inspired me, but now it's all about like either depressing stuff, or angry stuff, and people too. Maybe I've got bottled up anger, I don't know, it's weird.

So yeah, church has been such an annoying place for me. I seriously cannot relate with them at all. And what sucks is, as a pastor's daughter, I have to like get along with them, I have to like them, but it's so much harder done than said. They're so in their own circles, and are unwilling to open up. Plus, when new people come, it's in my nature to try and involve them as much as possible. But these people just sat there, while new ppl are intimadated in the corner. It made me so angry, seriously.
But one thing I learned today is that not everyone thinks like me.

It's just that even with friends, if I listen really hard to their problems, isn't it common sense to do the same thing for me?
But people really aren't like that, and I didn't know until now. Cause to me, it's just an obvious thing, we give & take, but, of course, I think like that, and others sometimes don't.

I try to set my expectations lower in people, cause I've been disappointed so many times. But I don't think they deserve that either, all people deserve to be set to a high standard don't you think?

Anyway, so yeah, church tomorrow T.T

Probably because I'm SO americanized, I just really don't fit with those super korean ppl. And what's worse is that, some of them acutally are americanized, but want to be koreanish. I can't relate to them at all, and I'm seriously starting to not want to.

I did make an effort to be friends with all of them, but all they do is excluding people.

But hey, that's just my point of view. Since I can't change churches, because I'm a pk, I'll just have to live with it.

I can tell you one thing though, I WILL try my best to be more open to them, even if they are not to me.
I might fail, but then I'll just have to try again(:

Was this blog long?
My life may be blank, but my mind is too jumbled with thoughts, this blog entry was more like a stream of thoughts haha.
Well then I guess you took a walk inside my head(:

mmkay well you gotta get out of my head now, bye!


-Outt.